Happy Times

In Recent Events....

The last couple weeks were by far the best weeks of summer. My main bitch (I've always wanted to say that) finally came home from her numerous stops all around the world, and we just chilled here and there, took naps together, did some pretty lame stuff, AND IT WAS AWESOME. All summer long, I felt like I've been around people that didn't completely get me, and when she finally came back, I felt like I didn't have to overly exert myself for her to understand me. Or I didn't have to step around her so that I wouldn't offend her, all I had to do was be myself. Having familiarity around you is a nice break. 

Life

As an incoming senior, I have to get started on my college applications and start thinking about my "future". It's been a real struggle trying to fit who I am and what matters to me in 250-500 words. However in the last couple of weeks, I've been really conscientious watching for what I truly enjoy and what I want to be doing for the rest of my life (or maybe half my life, who knows? I'm pretty prone to change my mind).  

BUT, I don't know what triggered this epiphany or when or how it happened, I realized that I want to go in to media production. I want to be behind a camera and direct a commercial, a news broadcast, a film. That's what I want to do. 

And if you don't know the feeling of being certain, it is pretty freaking awesome. The feeling of being at peace, is so relieving and joyous in all the right ways. I'm been smiling and bubbly all week. 

Good Music, Good Vibes, Popsicles, and Snickerdoodles

You don't come across good music too often, but I have to say, I've been bombarded with good music this past week. 

This album has just blown me away. It's not the same as Continuum, but change is good, and John Mayer is still John Mayer, just a little hillbilly-ified. Compared to his other music, this album is a lot more upbeat and just awesome!!!! (My favorite song from the album is "I Will Be Found (Lost At Sea)", it's just such a beautiful and down-to-earth song. You can really hear the rawness that Mayer is trying to convey.)

I've recently just got into Paramore, and realized that, they rock! Hayley Williams' is a total rocker and badass chick. This album (Paramore's self-titled album) is nothing short of my favorite album from Paramore. There's a lot of sass going on, but it just makes it all the better! I love a good song with some sass. My favorite song from the album is "Grow Up", it makes me happy. 

I know Katy Perry is overrated, but she's overrated for a reason. She's really talented. And I love her new concept. "Roar" is awesome. I love jamming to it in the car and just letting the tiger inside me loose! 

I didn't really just discover this, but since I'm on the topic of good music, I thought, "what the heck"!

First of all, Sara Bareilles is a freaken goddess. She is one of my absolute favorite artists, and she's one of the most talented out there. Her vocals are unbeatable. Her song writing is set apart from all others. And, to add on to all the awesomeness, she's a total emblem for feminism. I love running to feministic songs (I know, weird) and she's always in my playlists. (Woman power!!) My favorite songs on the album are "Brave", of course, amazing song, and "Little Black Dress", awesome, awesome, album.

Good music really sets a week apart, and music one of my main forms of consolidation and bringing the day together. I would rather lose my phone then my Ipod, music is one of the most prominent figures in my life, and I hope to share good music with good people.

Until next time,

arrivederci!! 

It

One day it wasn't there and then the next it was.  It is the color of death and all of its friends. It reeks of dead seals and rotting prunes. Nobody knows what it feels like, but some say it feels like the sound of nails on a chalk board. Seven and nine legged creatures live under its skin, and it feeds off of fear.

They say if you were to place your hand on it, it would first melt your skin off with its searing venom and then suck out all the blood, then your arteries and then the meat off of your hand. You would never feel it, only the antagonizing pain that it inflicts.

Like the eyes of Medusa, one look at it leaves people speechless and frozen. Once you've had a glance you can never forget all the layers of evil and misery that inhabits it. It feels nothing. The only thing it is capable of is vice.

But one day, through the storm, a hero will arise and she will destroy every last fear that the people live in. She will eradicate it with the mighty cord of the Hoover. Nay, she will destroy it.

Yes, the day will come when the evil that conspires within the air vent will die.

Hope

If you've been paying attention to recent news (or if you received the Amber Alert on Monday), then you'll be familiar with the story of sixteen-year-old Hannah Anderson. If you don't know, Hannah Anderson was abducted by a family friend after her mother and her brother were killed. All week long, I've been following the story of Hannah Anderson hoping and praying that she would be rescued. I think this story struck really close to home because I could have been Hannah Anderson. I could have been kidnapped and my family could have been killed. For some reason, I almost felt like she took my place; like I lucked out and didn't get kidnapped. 

When I heard today that they finally found Hannah and that the son of a bitch (pardon my French) that kidnapped her was gone, I was so relieved and thankful that Hannah wasn't going to be forgotten, like so many other kidnapped victims that are never found. 

Last year, when the Sandy Hook shootings happened, the incident was brought up in class, and someone asked if "they knew why he did it". My teacher responded and said, "There is no possible explanation why someone would shoot another person. Someone who is willing to take the life of someone else has no justification". In many ways, I find those words to be so true; there is no justification for James Lee DiMaggio. Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people. We'll never know why, but we have to stay strong and hold each other up when we fall. 

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My first post was about how life catches us off guard. I was really vague in my post, because I wasn't ready to talk about what was going on in my life. But, now that things have happened and I've accepted the life I was given, I think I'm ready.

A couple of weeks ago, the doctors found a small cyst in my aunt's uterus. They performed a biopsy on the cyst and determined that the cyst was cancerous. While we were all at Big Bear for vacation, our parents dropped the bomb on us, and the day was filled with the water works. At first, I was in shock, then denial, but then I looked around at my family and realized that we were going to get through the shit life just threw at us. We were strong. 

Then we found out that the cancer was still in the first stage. My hope had grown from a small mustard seed to a giant tree.

Two weeks later, my aunt has had a hysterectomy and the surgery went well. We went to go visit her today, because today was the day she came out of the hospital. At first we were walking around her and trying to be extra nice, but then I saw my aunt comforting her son (also my cousin), who was getting a tinsie bit emotional, and saw the strength and bravery that my aunt had. My hope has grown from a twenty foot tree to a tree kissing the tips of the clouds. My aunt has been strong for her family, so now I'm going to be strong for her. If she has go through chemotherapy and she loses her hair, hell, I will shave my head in support of that strong and beautiful woman. 

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"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

College, oh College

How did you know what your dreams and aspirations were? Were you hit in the back of the head with a block of wood and then decided to become a carpenter? Were you a tornado victim and saw the work of the Red Cross when you decided you wanted to become a paramedic? Did you decide to be an astronaut when NASA came and visited your school?

I, a beach-loving, dog-loving, music-loving 17-year-old gal, have no idea what I want to be doing with my life ten years from now. I don't want to be a pediatrician (like 98.7% of teenage girls). I don't have the patience or tolerance to be a teacher. I don't want to be a lawyer. I also do not want to make people food for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a mom.

Naturally, I want to help people. I want to make differences in the lives of the people I meet. I want to travel. I want to buy a blue and pink sari. I want to reel in fish from the docks of Greece. I want to eat pasta in Italy and feel the flavors and accents of the food in the depths of my soul. I want be familiar with the people in Spain. I want to swim with rays and sharks in Tahiti. I want to buy a ukulele from Hawaii. I want to do so many things, but I have no idea who I want to be.

I know about a millions things that I like and that I dislike. For example, I love turtles and I hate crying babies. But do I really know who I am? No, I don't.

For the last several years, I've always avoided "the talk", with myself (ironically), about what I was going to do later. I kept putting it off, saying that I would figure it out when the time came and that I had time. But the time has come, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. 

How did Barack Obama decide that he was going to run for presidency? How did J.K. Rowling decide that she would write books? How did Sara Bareilles decide that she would write music? How did you decide?

If you haven't already guessed, I am in the midst of writing my college applications, and I am in dire need of help! Tell me your story (and I know everyone has one). Any and all insight is greatly appreciated!!!!