I’m really supposed to be doing my readings for my literature class, but I also really wanted to write this letter before my thoughts slipped away. Also, there is a seagull five inches next to me trying to get the last bits of my apple. He’s just chillin’.
So many people, too many people, have told me that college creates a distance between you and your parents that somehow makes your relationship with them better. I didn’t believe them, because I never believe people. People are posers and they lie. Haha…kind of.
Anyways, I’m about halfway through my seventh week of college, and I hate to admit it, but people were right.
Intermission: The seagull, which I will now address as Steve is stabbing my apple with his beak.
DANGER: I THREW THE APPLE, AND NOW 50 OF STEVE’S FRIENDS ARE AFTER ME. THEY WANT TO KILL ME.
THEY ARE STILL HERE. ABORT, ABORT, ABORT.
Anyways, I survived the seagull take-over. Rudely interrupted. They’re still all looking at me, by the way.
For the last several weeks before I left home, I told myself that I wasn’t going to be one of those “babies” that cried when they left home, but I was lying to myself. Oh, I was lying big time. The day I left, I said my goodbyes to my dad early in the morning, because it was a Sunday and my dad is a pastor. After my dad helped me move all my many belongings into the van, we sat down across from each other, awkwardly, on the two beds in my room, and he read me a verse and prayed for me. Halfway through his prayer, I started crying, and after he finished praying, he started saying goodbye to me and telling me how proud of me he was, and how he was going to miss me. By this point, we were both choking on our words; I don’t think I actually said any real English words. And then we hugged.
I don’t think I knew how much my dad loved me until that moment. And it’s one of my favorite moments in my life so far. It was sad, but it was so raw and real. Throughout the week, my dad still sends me texts and tells me how much he loves and how he prays for us. He did the same kind of thing before, but I never thought anything of the texts, they were just text messages to me. Now, I read them and I treasure them, because now I know their worth. My dad and I have a weird relationship. We don’t really talk much, even when we’re the only two people in the car or at the dining table. We disagree on many occasions, but we never really talk about things or “open things up”. But in the last couple of months, we’ve found new ways to express ourselves to each other, and it’s been one of my most treasured journeys thus far.
My goodbye with my mom wasn’t as emotionally triggering as the one with my dad, because I think we both prepared ourselves for it throughout the summer and especially that week. And also because my mom came up with me to move me in.
That was a long backstory, whew. So, without further ado, here’s to the crazy nutjobs I call my parents:
Dear Mom and Dad,
There have been many times throughout my pubescent childhood and teenage years where I have disliked you guys immensely. Sometimes you guys were just mean, and sometimes you guys were so annoying (I write that with a teenage girl’s voice in my head). But I haven’t realized how much you guys love me until recently. I took your unconditional support for granted all these years, and never stopped to think how much it’s done for me. There would have been so many times where I would have fallen into depression if not for your love for me. And I’m here, right now, to just stop and say how much I appreciate all that you guys are to me. You guys are and have been the best parents that I have ever had. Thank you for being a backbone and a motivational force for me.
And I promise that I’m going to try to be the best person that I possibly can, because I know that’s what’s important.
Thank you so much, and I hope that you guys don’t read this until way later because that would be really embarrassing. Good day.
Love always,
Amy
