To Stand Strong

There have been countless times when I’ve been self-conscious about who I am, what I look like, and etcetera. However, I’ve come to realize that I can’t change who I am. Instead, I pursue to stand strong, which, I have found to be equally as difficult.

I am Korean. I am Christian. I am 5’6”. I am a female. I love rock/alternative music. I love pictures of dogs that have been stung by bees. I love indie films. I fanaticize of traveling all over the world. I love the arts. In fact, I love the arts so much I want to work in the field of arts for the rest of my life. I want to use art as a medium for inspiration. I want my art to inspire people, adults and children, females and males, alike, to keep dreaming. To keep fighting for the people and things that bring them joy and happiness.

My journey into this field hasn’t even begun, but I know it’s going to be long and difficult. I have a feeling that at certain times it’s going to suck; I’m afraid. I’m willing to be afraid and I’m willing to suffer in order to get where to I want to be, because I know it'll be worth the fight. We don’t always have to live in constant stability, it’s okay to be afraid, as long as we stand strong in who we are.

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear is losing my individuality. I'm afraid that, one day I'm going to become just another face in the crowd, and I'm going to lose the drive to seek new adventures. I fear that, one day I'll stop wanting to fill my life with my own stories and I'll just fill it with stories from another aimless mouth. 

Where I'm from, the people drink the same drinks, they wear the same clothes, they listen to the same music, they only take what's put directly underneath their noses. The people here don't travel, they stay where they are and they keep it safe. I'm afraid that I'm going to become just like them, and I won't realize it until it's too late. 

My fight is not to be different from the crowd, it's to keep my soul alive and growing. I want to fight to want to learn about more than what's given to me, to learn not just within the walls of my school. 

I hope that I will push my fears to it's absolute limits, and then overcome those fears, and then replace those fears with new ones and repeat the whole cycle over again. I don't want to be the same person in twenty years that I am now, but in a fatter and more unpleasant version. I want to be changed by my experiences and grow from those experiences. 

I see people eat the shit Hollywood gives them and then shit out exactly the same stuff. We're losing not only our creativity, but also our thoughts; people are beginning to become one gray face. We need to fight for our individuality and keep the color that this world deserves to be drenched in.